On Thanksgiving Day, I put a little too much liquid in the pan with the turkey. The juices spilled over but I forgot to wipe up the mess.

We’re mostly air fryer and microwave chefs these days, so cleaning up the burnt-on gunk faded from my to-do list.

A few nights ago, I turned on the oven and the house immediately filled with smoke. That’s when I remembered the mess in the oven. There was no avoiding the chore – the oven needed to be cleaned. This is a once-a-year job for me.

Okay, let’s be honest.

Maybe once in a blue moon job.

Luckily, I had a can of oven cleaner, probably from last Thanksgiving. I followed the instructions, but that burnt-on mess wasn’t budging.

A few hours later, I sprayed the cleaner again, but the residue still wouldn’t come off.

I moved to the next level – baking soda, water and vinegar. Half a gallon of vinegar and a box of baking soda later, the gunk stayed there.

I did some reading and found Barkeeper’s Friend powder might work. After another hour of scrubbing, most of the gunk was gone.

Standing in front of the oven with three dirty towels and a destroyed sponge on the floor, I asked myself why I’d spent all day and two nights trying to clean something no one will ever see.

It’s not like I invite people over and, after they come in, ask if they’d like to see the clean oven.

Same with the toilet bowls. We have hard water, and a hard-water ring constantly forms inside the toilet bowl.

I read an article and found a pumice stone can remove hard-water rings. The article was spot on, and a pumice stone is now part of the toilet bowl cleaning routine.

But that wasn’t the end of my bathroom cleaning obsession. The day I watched a bathroom cleaning video and saw you could pull up the tabs on the toilet seat and clean underneath them was as if I’d discovered the lost route to the Holy Grail.

I also spend an inordinate amount of time polishing the kitchen stove top. After meals, I spray the ceramic top with Windex and polish until there’s no stains.

I’ve spent hours trying to keep the cast-iron grates clean, spraying them with oven cleaner and scraping burnt-on food away with a putty knife.

It’s a form of insanity.

Never have I had guests over and invited them to inspect the cast-iron grates on the stovetop. Nor have I pointed out the sparkling porcelain in the toilet. I will admit to pointing out the clean interior of my vehicle because it’s a rarity.

Before anyone gets the idea I’m a clean freak, let me point out that I haven’t cleaned the dust from the fan blades in over a year. Nor have I swept or vacuumed behind the bedroom doors in probably five years.

I’ve had the same can of Pledge for at least three years – it’s still almost full – and I haven’t cleaned the glass on the picture frames since we moved in 15 years ago.

But that oven, stove top and toilet bowl? Let me tell you – clean as a whistle.

It shouldn’t matter if anyone other than me cares or knows about the cleanliness of my house or car. The cleaning isn’t for anyone else – it’s a personal achievement.

But perhaps there’s a bigger reward further down the road. When I get to the judgment gates in the great beyond, I’m hoping St. Peter will say “Wow, Denise, your toilets were gleaming. Come on in.”

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.

 

 

As the Christmas holiday season is here, it’s time for the annual “It’s a Wonderful Life” column, courtesy of Bob Haenel and Denise Adams.

Years ago, Bob first wrote a column with trivia questions from the movie, and it was a huge hit. Although Bob’s retired from the newspaper business, we’re keeping the IAWL trivia column going.

The movie stars Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey, a man who never seems to get what he wants. When he thinks things would be better if he’d never been born, his guardian angel steps in and shows him what life would be like if he’d never been here.

Some movies stand the test of time while others don’t fare as well. IAWL has a few cringy stereotypes from the time, women stayed at home, housekeepers were Black women and none of the women wear pants or trousers.

But the lessons taught in this movie are what make it a true classic. The characters get to your heart, starting with George Bailey, the star of IAWL.

One of George Bailey’s best traits is his ability to see the potential in people. In Violet, he doesn’t see the town floozie – he sees a good person and he supports her in her quest to better herself.

Mr. Martini was an immigrant to this county, but George saw he could be a profitable businessman. He also saw that Ernie Bishop, the cab driver, would be successful member of society if he had a decent roof over his head. George believed that of all people.

When it opened, the movie was unsuccessful at the box office, and it slowly faded from memory. For 30 years, IAWL languished on the movie studio’s shelf until its copyright expired.

Cable television mogul Ted Turner discovered the now-free movie and played it non-stop on his new television station where it became a Christmas classic. Today, IAWL is considered one of the greatest films of all time.

So without further ado, here’s our annual IAWL column – good luck! Answers are at the bottom. No fair Googling the answers – see how many you can get right from memory.

1. The movie is about a man named George Bailey. What’s George’s father’s name and his younger brother’s name?
2. All outstanding movies have a bad guy. Who’s the bad guy in IAWL? Extra points if you know the initials of his middle name.
3. Who told Mr. Potter he was a “warped, frustrated old man?”
4. Who told George Bailey “I’ll love you till the day I die.”
5. George lost his hearing in one ear. What happened and in which ear was George deaf?
6. What song did Mary and George sing together after they fell in the high school swimming pool?
7. What’s the name of George’s first employer? Hint – he also bought George a suitcase to travel the world.
8. What is Uncle Billy’s phone number?
9. George has a favorite bar in the movie. The name of the “joint” changes. What are the two names?
10. George has some good friends in this movie. What’s the name of his friend who says “hee-haw?”
11. Later in the movie, one of George’s friends sends a telegram and promises George something. What is it?
12. Uncle Billy has two pet animals in the movie. What are they?
13. What did young Violet buy in the drugstore?
14. What’s the name of the house George and Mary buy? Bonus point if you know the address.
15. What is the name of the bank examiner? Bonus point if you know what city he wanted to visit for Christmas.

Enjoy your holidays and may the spirit of George Bailey live in your hearts year round!

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

 

 

 

 

Answers:

 

1. Peter Bailey is the father, Harry Bailey is George’s younger brother
2. Henry F. Potter.
3. George Bailey
4. Mary Hatch, later known as Mary Bailey
5. He saved his brother Harry from drowning. George was deaf in his left ear.
6. “Buffalo Gals.”
7. Emil Gower
8. Bedford 247
9. First it’s Martini’s. In George’s fantasy, it’s Nick’s Bar.
10. Sam Wainwright
11. Sam Wainwright promises to lend George up to $20,000
12. Crow and squirrel
13. Shoelaces, a flavor of licorice
14. The Old Granville house, 320 Sycamore Street
15. Carter. He wants to go to Elmira.