She held up the shard of mirror and stared at the reflection. The eyes staring back at her seemed cold and distant. Maybe it was because the eyes were a light shade of blue. She’d always heard blue eyes masked a personality of someone with ice in their veins.

Was that true?

Maybe.

But she had reason to think cold thoughts.

She looked down at her thumb that was holding the shard by the edge. A small trickle of blood had formed from the jagged edge of the glass.

She hadn’t meant to break the mirror with that much force. But that’s exactly what happened when Madge finished reading their last bank statement. She’d found the statement hidden underneath the cufflinks in Stan’s jewelry box. The balance? Not the $350,000 she thought was in there. The balance, as of last Monday, was $5,000.

She put the shard down carefully on top of the lace doily on the dresser, hoping there wasn’t blood on the back of the broken piece. Madge told herself she should’ve been more careful.

“You should’ve been more careful about a lot of things, old girl,” she said to herself.

“I was too busy to notice,” Madge said, not realizing she was talking out loud. She was the only person in the house she’d shared with Stan for the last 40 years. The wallpaper was original to the old house, Stan hating the cabbage rose print, Madge thinking the pattern matched the 100-year-old house.

“Maybe you should’ve noticed how I felt about a lot of things,” a voice similar to Stan’s whispered in her head. “Then maybe you wouldn’t be in the situation you’re in right now.”

Madge saw the cut on her thumb needed more than spit. She turned and went into the bathroom, looking around for the box of Band-Aids she kept in the medicine cabinet. While rummaging, she found bottles of prescription meds for Stan – here was one for his high blood pressure, and one for the time he had the beginnings of an ulcer. Madge moved the bottles, looking for the bottle of mercurochrome she’d had for years, and that’s when she saw the small bottle with the blue diagonal shaped pills.

Viagra.

A prescription for her late husband who hadn’t touched her in years.

Madge picked up the bottle and noticed it was almost empty. She checked the number of pills prescribed – 20. There were only five tablets left.

“One more thing you weren’t careful about,” the voice in her head said, triumph in its tone.

“Shut up,” Madge said out loud. “Just shut up.”

She threw the bottle against the wall in the bathroom, causing the top to pop off and the pills to scatter on the faded green linoleum floor.

Madge was oblivious to the slow trickle of blood running down her thumb.

“You better do something about that or it’ll stain the grout,” the voice said. Madge had heard that familiar voice all her life and, she hated to admit, so had Stan.

He’d better take care of the oil change in the car or the engine would freeze up. He’d better change the air conditioning filters in the house or they’d develop allergies. He’d better stop paying fees to be on the bowling team he loved. Taxes were going up.

Madge heard her cell phone ding. She unrolled a foot of toilet paper and used it to stop the bleeding on her thumb, temporarily giving up the search for a bandage. She picked up the phone and saw it was a message from the funeral home.

“Visitation is set for 10 a.m. to noon tomorrow,” the text stated. “Payment in full for our services will be due at the end of the service.”

Madge put the phone down, closed her eyes, and then opened them. Shards of the mirror were scattered around the dresser. She wasn’t surprised. She’d slammed that mirror so hard against the wood that she was surprised she hadn’t damaged the dresser as well.

“What do you expect?” the voice said. “You just found out your supposedly faithful husband of 45 years had gambling debts that wiped out your 401k.”

Madge felt her knees go weak. All the money she’d given freely to Stan, thinking her husband with a degree in banking was taking care of them. All the while, he’d been involved in online poker games, losing hundreds and then thousands of dollars. Right now, she had less than $5,000 to her name.

“You have this house,” the voice said. “Sell it.”

Madge looked around. What could she get for this old place. The roof leaked – Stan always too busy to fix it. Now she realized she didn’t have the money for those fix-it chores. America’s Cardroom had their money.

Madge had no idea her husband had that big secret. It wasn’t until she’d checked their banking account a few hours ago that she saw huge chunks of money gone. She called Stan’s co-worker at the bank and confronted him.

“Madge, I begged Stan to come clean to you, but he didn’t want to,” Ron told her in a whispered voice. “He knew he was in over his head, but by the time he told me what was going on, he’d cleaned out your savings account.”

Madge had grabbed onto the edge of the dresser, her head spinning. Thousands of dollars gone, all right underneath her nose. And where had she been?

“You were busy grading papers and complaining about the educational system, your fellow teachers and the slacker kids, that’s where you were,” the voice said. “And when you weren’t griping about them, you were busy with your crossword puzzle books.”

The voice was right. She’d been too wrapped up in herself, her problems and her insecurities to pay attention to her husband or her personal life.

The gambling was bad enough. But the Viagra pills? What were those for?

Madge went back into the bathroom and, this time, found the bandages. She wrapped her thumb and returned to Stan’s laptop. It was on a desk in the room. She and Stan had slept in separate bedrooms for the past 10 years, her snoring keeping him awake and his snoring keeping her awake.

“You never considered the man might be lonely, did you?” the voice asked.

Madge was silent.

“Did you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But then again, he never considered that I might be lonely.”

She opened Stan’s email and glanced through the in box. There were typical advertisements for storm windows and tax help. She went through the folders and found one marked “Cadillac.” They’d never owned a Cadillac, she thought. A Cadillac was a car Stan always dreamed of having but she always told him that was a ridiculous purchase. A Buick, now that was a trusty, sturdy car.

Inside the Cadillac file were emails from a woman named Dolly. Madge read two of them and knew instantly Stan had been having an affair with her.

Madge scrolled down to the bottom of the folder. Apparently, Stan and Dolly had been intimate for five years.

Her thumb was beginning to throb, just like her head. In a matter of two days, her husband had dropped dead from a stroke, she found out her life savings were gone, she discovered her husband had been having an affair and here she was sitting in a shabby bedroom with decades old wallpaper and shards of glass all over the faded rug.

She sat in the silence, watching as the shadows deepened in the room and then remained sitting until the room was dark.

“You gonna just sit there and let life happen to you or are you going to do something about it?” the voice asked.

Madge walked over to the shard of glass she’d held earlier and looked at herself in the reflection. This time, she accepted that the blue eyes looking back were icy cold.

“I’m gonna kick ass,” Madge said. She picked up her phone again and found the number of her friend, Marissa.

“I’m so sorry about Stan,” Marissa said.

Madge interrupted her.

“Yeah, that’s fine, thanks, but I need you to list my house. While you’re at it, help me find a company to sell all my furniture as well,” Madge said.

It’s time to stop ignoring what’s happening around me, she thought.

“About time,” the voice said.

And for once, Madge agreed with the voice. And, she thought bitterly, so would Stan.

Growing up, we loved board games. “Jeopardy” and “Family Feud” were family favorites, and knowing facts and trivia always helped clinch a win.

A few years ago, I found a website, IMDB – the Internet Movie Database – that listed all kinds of media information, from plot summaries to cast members to my favorite category, trivia.

While watching something on either television or my computer, I usually search IMDB trivia, and all kinds of useless information fills my phone screen.

One rainy afternoon when going down memory lane, I decided to see what I could find out about some of my favorite television shows from the 1970s and 1980s. If you wonder what happens behind the scenes, keep reading.

Credit goes where credit is due – facts here are courtesy of the IMDB website.

“Little House on the Prairie.” This was my weekly cry show. This little family always found a way to tug at my heartstrings. Fun fact – when the Ingall family sat down to eat, the stars had Kentucky Fried chicken, definitely not a delicacy in Minnesota’s pioneer days.

“Happy Days.” Richie, Fonzie and the crew were always there for a feel-good show about growing up. Little-known fact – a teenage boy was contemplating suicide and wanted to talk to Fonzie. Winkler took the call and convinced the boy to give life another chance.

“WKRP in Cincinnati.” Not a Thanksgiving goes by that I don’t watch the clip – “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” I’m not alone. Every November, thousands of people watch that video on YouTube.

“All in the Family.”  Bigot Archie has a full-fledged liberal for a son-in-law. Archie and Meathead allowed us to open the door to uncomfortable conversations. Fun fact about Edith: The show made fun of Jean Stapleton’s singing, but in reality, she was a professionally trained singer who’d performed in musical theatre.

“The Jeffersons.”  A spin off from “All in the Family,” George Jefferson (Sherman Hemsley) was a successful, vain Black man who carried the show. Fun fact:  Isabel Sanford was the first Black actress to win the Outstanding Lead Actress in a comedy Emmy award.

“The Munsters.” To say it was a stretch of the imagination to have a Frankenstein-style man and a Bride of Frankenstein woman living in a creepy mansion appear normal makes me laugh now. That doesn’t include the strange Uncle Fester. Fun fact:  Fred Gwynne (Herman Munster) was 6’5” in real life. But he needed to be even taller, so he wore shoes that elevated him by four inches.

“Taxi.” A sitcom about life in a New York City taxi-cab office. I have lots of favorite scenes, but when Jim takes the driving test and asks what a yellow light means, the result still cracks me up. And nobody can down a beer in one gulp like the despicable Louie DePalma.

“Dallas.”  Like 83 million other people, I had to tune in to see who shot J.R. Fun fact: The house used as the “Southfork Ranch” house was a real Texas residence called “Duncan Acres.” Years later, the Duncan family was forced to sell the house, and it is now a museum devoted to the show.

“Gilligan’s Island.”  I had to stop watching this sitcom because I was frustrated about people being trapped on that island. Fun fact: the show’s crew could only make props that would’ve been found on the island. They loved the challenge.

The next time you sit down to watch a movie or TV show and wonder about the back story, check out the IMDB website. Then you’ll know useless facts that somehow make you feel smart.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Library. 

 

There’s a scene in the sitcom “Schitt’s Creek” where mom Moira is trying to share a family recipe with her son David.

Moira hasn’t a clue how real people function, but she claims she can cook her mother’s enchilada recipe. She asks David to help.

When the instructions call to fold in the cheese, David asks what that means.

Moira tells him to just fold in the cheese. He asks for directions again. David finally realizes she hasn’t a clue about cooking, especially how to fold in cheese.

I felt a little like Moira when my grandson, Alex, and I were out for one of our last driving lessons – parking.

Over the past few years, I’ve gotten lazy about parking. I usually turn left into a parking spot because it seems easier, but either the front of the car is over the line or the rear end of the car is sticking out too far.

Then there’s the problem of getting inside the lines.

If I’m somewhat in the middle, it’s a success. If not, I park further out where sloppy parking doesn’t matter as much.

Alex said parking was on the driving test, so we set off on a Sunday afternoon to tackle this last lesson. We found an empty parking lot, and pulled in. Knowing I’m not great at parking, we decided to watch a few YouTube videos for some expert advice.

I learned a few things – there’s right-hand parking and left-hand parking. The reason I prefer left-hand parking is because the driver sits on that side and can see how close they are to the car on the left.

We set out two home-made cones for Alex to drive around – one of his younger brother’s toys and an empty laundry detergent container. Not top-of-the-line tools, but the make-shift cones would serve their purpose.

Then it was time for Alex to park. He asked what to do before turning into the spot. I hesitated, knowing my parking weakness. I took the easy way out.

“You park the car,” I told him.

He looked at me.

I motioned with my hand toward the empty spot.

“You just park it,” I said again. “Remember what we saw on the videos. Just park the car.”

Being a wonderful grandson, he tried to follow that useless advice.

But he was too close to the line on the driver’s side.

“How do I fix it?” he asked.

I thought about it.

“Just try again,” I replied.

He tried again and was on the line on the right-hand side of the car.

“Got any advice?” he asked.

“Let’s watch the videos again,” I replied.

We watched two different ones, and Alex patiently backed the car out of the spot. He turned the vehicle around and stopped.

“What should I do now?” he asked.

My advice was sound.

“Just park the car,” I said. That’s when I thought about that scene from “Schitt’s Creek.”

We moved to another empty parking lot, but this one had plate glass windows where Alex could see what he was doing. In just a few tries, he figured out how to turn and then straighten out the car.

Luckily, when it came to parallel parking, Alex got it on the first try without any useful advice from me. That was a stroke of good luck because my advice would’ve been the same – “You just park it.”

Later, I asked my 18-year-old granddaughter for advice about how to park a car. She looked at me and smiled.

“You just park it,” she said.

Vindication.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

One sleepless night, I was mindlessly scrolling on my computer and came across a video of a little monkey named Punch.

I wasn’t the only one captivated by this adorable monkey whose life is anything but easy.

Over 90 million people around the world have watched videos of Punch.

The reason?

Punch reminds us of ourselves.

A little background.

In July, a macaque monkey was born at the small Ichikawa City Zoo in Japan and was abandoned by his mother shortly after birth.

The zookeepers had no idea why the mother abandoned the infant. All they knew was they had a tiny motherless monkey, starving for attention.

To help, the zookeepers gave Punch an IKEA stuffed toy that resembled an orangutan. Instantly, Punch hung on to that comfort plushie much as a needy child hugs a stuffed animal.

When Punch was old enough, the zookeepers released him to the troop, making sure the little monkey had his stuffed animal/surrogate mother.

The experience was brutal.

The monkeys attacked Punch, chasing, pushing, and hitting the young monkey. Punch would run away to his stuffed animal, crying in fear.

He dragged the stuffed toy everywhere he went, huddle up with it, sometimes hiding, sometimes crying, whenever other monkeys would come around.

The only times Punch would venture out alone were when his two favorite zookeepers would enter the barren enclosure.

Punch would jump up on their legs, scurry up their backs and ride around on the zookeepers’ shoulders while they fed the other monkeys.

Sometimes, the zookeepers kept Punch with them. Other times, they’d gently put Punch down, hoping he’d connect with the others. According to experts, there’s a social hierarchy and Punch needed to fit in.

News of Punch’s rough life spread on social media. Soon, the zoo was seeing hundreds of visitors a day, with lines stretching outside the zoo’s gates to see Baby Punch.

Millions have watched videos of him, frustrated when he was being bullied and cheering when his favorite zookeepers carry him around.

Feelings are so strong for Punch that a fund with Change.org has been established to relocate Punch from the concrete mountain in Japan to a nurturing sanctuary where he can socialize in a more natural setting.

But, despite the somewhat stark conditions at the Ichikawa City Zoo, Punch appears to be improving. He’s spending less time alone, and he seems more confident.

After weeks of being ostracized, Punch isn’t being picked on as much, and he’s bonded with a female macaque in the troop.

There’s a reason this little monkey has captured so many hearts. He’s all of us who’ve been bullied in life. He reminds us how important it is to have someone hold us and comfort us.

He’s us when life treats us harshly and we feel we don’t have a friend in the world. But Punch has something special – he never gave up. Despite the hits and slaps and rejections, Punch kept hoping to find someone to love him.

Punch taught us to keep trying. Even if we’re the smallest one in the room, the face that’s rejected because it’s new or pushed away, we can’t give up.

We need to believe someone will see us for the special being we are.

Thanks, Punch, for reminding us that having a little hope and to always keep trying are the best qualities we can possess.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

We no longer have a dining room table. Instead, we have a Lego assembly platform that’s our grandchildren’s favorite spot.

Kirk Christiansen started making wooden Legos in 1932. The company shifted the focus from wood to plastic bricks in the late 1940s. The company experienced a major slump in the early 2000s, but they went back to the basics and partnered with major franchises.

The result was success to the tune of billions of dollars.

They added franchises like Nintendo, Disney and Pixar, and the company outperformed all competitors.

Now fans can create entire universes in worlds including the Harry Potter, Marvel and Star Wars stories.

Legos aren’t cheap. One of the most expensive sets is a replica of the Death Star from Star Wars. That will set a buyer back $999. The Eiffel Tower, with 10,000 pieces, is only $629.

Lego sets are great for children because there aren’t written directions. Step-by-step large drawings guide Lego builders.

Simpler sets might have a manual with 10-12 pages. The bigger models can have five or six instruction manuals.

But these aren’t the Legos from your childhood. A Star Wars set with SMART play make engine and laser-shooting noises.

People can build a model Bugatti racing car or a mini orchid or rose. Legos have hidden compartments, moving parts and some even launch projectiles.

My sister, Diane, is a master builder. She has a massive collection of Legos, including a small working carousel she built with her granddaughters and an entire city she had on display at her office building.

Our 17-year-old grandson had an impressive collection of Lego displays, and he enjoys talking about the fun he had putting those sets together.

Our 14-year-old grandson was interested in Legos from an early age. He went from Spider-Man to Ninjago to Star Wars.

His interest waned as sports took over, but his younger brother started putting together Lego cars and Minecraft sets. Older brother came back around, and Legos are now at the top of his hobby list.

Watching the two boys sit together at our dining room table, rifling through the boxes of loose Legos and creating new designs, was a treat. In what seemed like divine intervention, a flyer popped up on my computer for a Lego Brick Expo in Katy that same day.

The event stated they’d have sets for sale, appearances by Lego masters and dozens of displays.

We loaded up the car and headed north. The center was packed with merchants selling literally thousands of Legos. There were retired sets for sale and completed sets to dazzle everyone’s imagination.

One of the most impressive was a complete replica of downtown Houston made from Legos. Another was a huge replica of a temple, and a glow-in-the-dark diorama.

Members of the Houston Brick Club – Lego lovers – were there to answer questions and talk Legos.

I called my sister and had her on Facetime as we walked around. She now has a list of the Expos close to her, and I know she’ll be the first one in line to enter the event.

What amazed me at the Expo was the people. The center was packed with Lego fans of all ages. Parents were just as interested in Lego sets as their children. Gray-haired retirees were purchasing sets as were Goth-dressed teens.

Something simple can spark the imaginations of young and old, and interest is growing. Judging from the huge crowd when we were there, and the excited looks on the faces of people hugging their purchases, the Lego company has the right idea.

We can all learn something from these little plastic bricks. Turn off the video game, put away your phone and create something tangible with your hands and a little bit of imagination.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

Forget using Google to find facts.

Artificial intelligence – AI – and it’s chatbox creation, ChatGPT, are here.

If you think you haven’t encountered AI yet, it’s only because you didn’t recognize this evolved internet brain was behind the curtain.

If you’re on social media – Facebook, TikTok or Instagram – AI tracks where you’re going and is the reason you see certain ads.

If you’ve been to the drive-through at Taco Bell, an AI voice takes your order. If you use Alexa in your house, that’s AI, learning and making your life easier.

If you use your face to unlock your phone, that’s AI. If you use Google Maps or Waze when driving and the program knows about traffic jams and routes you around them, that’s AI.

A growing part of AI is ChatGPT, a conversational assistant that allows users to brainstorm and learn through natural dialogue.

If you’ve ever been on a website and a box pops up on the right-hand side asking if it can answer questions for you, that’s a “chatbot” and allows ChatGPT to answer questions like it’s having a conversation with you.

My eldest son asked if I was using ChatGPT. I told him I try to think of the answer first. If I’m unsuccessful, I use Google.

Nick, who loves technology and dragging his mother into the modern age, asked ChatGPT for answers about publishing a book.

I’d been researching self-publishing a book for months, and I’d almost given up because the process was confusing. I’d been to three or four different sites, comparing what different companies had to offer.

ChatGPT answered all my questions and analyzed the different ways to self-publish a book, listing the pros and cons for each option. Then it mapped out a marketing campaign to sell the book.

All of that information was mine in less than five minutes.

Unbelievable.

He installed a free ChatGPT program on my phone, and, I’ll admit, it’s addicting.

There are some dangers to watch out for. ChatGPT is artificial intelligence, not human intelligence.

Because ChatGPT can talk to you in a conversational tone – using any accent or gender you want – it can seem like a friend.

You don’t.

Don’t underestimate the value of asking a trusted friend or professional for advice.

Years ago, when I first started writing for this newspaper, I had to go to Needville High School. I asked then managing editor Bob Haenel for directions.

“Go south on Highway 36. When you get to the red light, turn left.”

“What light?” I asked.

“The light,” he replied.

Short, direct, and correct.

There are still some advantages. ChatGPT doesn’t get angry if you ask the same question on repeat.

ChatGPT gives you the feeling it’s listening because it asks an unlimited amount of follow-up questions.

This chatbox is smart, quick and gives you information in a way that doesn’t make you feel stupid.

But never forget – ChatGPT is not a human.

Enjoy using technology but be careful of giving away too much personal information. Don’t rely on AI for accurate legal, medical or mental health advice. Never give ChatGPT your personal financial information. Don’t rely on ChatGPT to give you an accurate medical diagnosis.

Bottom line – don’t rely on technology to be your memory. Sometimes, using the math in your head to figure out a discount, remember the actors who starred in your favorite sitcom from the 60s or the advice your dad gave you about changing a tire is more valuable than anything on your phone screen.

AI is a great tool, but nothing beats human ingenuity.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.

I love modern conveniences. Everything from clothing to groceries can be ordered online and delivered to our front door.

The microwave is used much more than our oven, and the air fryer is becoming indispensable. We’ve almost forgotten how far we’ve come in a few short years when it comes to home conveniences.

One of the things my grandchildren don’t have a clue about is a clock radio with a snooze button. They have cell phones with that capability, but they will never understand the satisfaction in slamming their palm down on a beeping clock radio without opening their eyes.

Those clock radios also had big numbers that were illuminated at night. No matter where you were in the room, you could tell what time it was.

Now, I have to pick up my cell phone, turn it on and try and make out those small numbers without my glasses.

One of the things I don’t miss are ice-cube trays. Those of us who grew up in the 60s and 70s remember the frustration of reaching into the freezer for a few ice cubes and finding out the metal tray was empty.

This is because the last person to take the ice cubes had to have enough consideration to refill the tray, carefully put the metal compartment back and carefully put the tray in the freezer.

It was a nice day when the plastic ice-cube trays came along. We’d twist the tray and ice cubes would pop out.

Just like with the metal trays, we soon realized if you didn’t put more water in the plastic ice-cube trays, you’d have empty trays in the freezer.

Now we have an ice-cube dispenser in the refrigerator door. I thought that would be a great luxury until I found out our refrigerator dispenses one ice cube every 30 seconds, groaning and clanking away in the effort.

Snacks have come a long way. One of the trickiest treats my mom bought was Jiffy Pop Popcorn. A metal pan contained popcorn kernels. The kernels were covered by a twisted foil top. We had to heat up the stove coil and shake the Jiffy Pop Popcorn over the burner until the popcorn started popping.

As the popcorn popped, the foil balloon got bigger. That sight was a lot cooler than watching a paper bag expand in the microwave.

Of course, we usually burnt the Jiffy Pop Popcorn because there’s a fine line between popping all the kernels and burning the popcorn.

I still can’t shake saying Sugar Frosted Flakes and Sugar Pops. We had Sugar Frosted Flakes for breakfast every single Saturday, munching away while we watched Bugs Bunny and Quick Draw McGraw on TV.

We ingested sugar at every turn. Our nightly drink was Kool-Aid made with a packet of flavoring and a cup of sugar. Dessert was usually a piece of cake with lots of frosting or a Popsicle, and a late-night snack was another bowl of Sugar Pops.

Now that I think of it, maybe all that jumping on the couch we did could be traced back to a sugar high.

We learned how to spell bologna watching a little boy sitting on a dock with a Fisher Price fishing pole. He was eating a sandwich as big as his head, and he sang “My baloney has a first name. It’s O-s-c-a-r. My baloney has a second name it’s M-a-y-e-r. I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I’ll say, “cause Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a.”

Those of you who grew up with School House Rock were singing that last paragraph – don’t deny it.

What goes around, comes around.

Jiffy Pop is available online and can be delivered to your house the next day.

What a great way to mix the old and the new.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

On Facebook, people are creating cartoon versions of themselves using ChatGPT. This new technology uses artificial intelligence, and the cartoons fit the person to a “T.”

But ask yourself – how did they get all that information? How did ChatGPT know you like going on cruises, gardening or your hobbies are reading and playing golf?

That’s because everything you post on social media becomes part of your digital footprint and public knowledge. What they don’t know from what you’ve posted, they’ll ask and you hand it right over.

I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast featuring Caitlin Sarian, a cybersecurity influencer, on how to protect yourself online, and she gave some great tips.

Here’s the highlights.

Never give out your real birthday, phone number or name while shopping, both online and in person. If a store wants your phone number or email account for a transaction, decline. They’re not going to call you. This is so they can sell your information to marketing vultures.

Don’t post vacation photos while you’re away from home. People can pinpoint your address using the information you’ve got out there and rob your house while you’re gone. Some of these scammers can even find out your airline reservations and break into your house while you’re in the air and your phone is turned off.

Never use free WiFi. You think you’re saving money and minutes by using the free hook up. Wrong. You’ve just logged on to an open highway where predators and scammers lurk, waiting to steal your information.

Ms. Sarian said, “If there’s any free app or product, you are the product.”

Even though it’s convenient, don’t use the same password, or a variation of a password, on all your apps. Don’t reuse passwords. Use unique passwords with letters and numbers.

There are ways to keep track of complex passwords.

You can buy an electronic password manager device for under $100 or you can go “old-school.” A telephone address book is already divided alphabetically. Write the passwords in pencil and keep the book by your computer. Don’t keep the passwords on your phone.

You don’t have to answer all the questions you’re asked online. Don’t provide your mother’s maiden name or the name of your first pet. These are often legitimate security questions, and you just handed a scammer the answers.

The way to get around this is to create a fake online persona, and that’s free. Use a different G-mail account and phone number for this online personality.

Make your fake persona fun. Choose an exotic name, claim you were born in Paris and that the name of your first pet was Killer.

Don’t plug your phone into a free charging station. Scammers get your information from these open spots. Never assume hackers don’t want you – money is money, Ms. Sarian said.

As much as you hate it, opt for a two-factor authentication. That means you’ll have to type in a number that’s either texted or emailed to you. It takes time, but it’ll keep your information safe.

Don’t answer phone numbers you don’t recognize, even if the window states it’s an official agency. Anybody can get a phone to display a fake name. Don’t believe a caller who says they’re from the police, the IRS or any other law enforcement agency.

If you did answer, hang up as quickly as possible and call the official phone number of the agency, not the one showing on your phone.

Better yet, let the call go to voice mail. If it’s someone you need to talk to, they’ll leave a message. Even if the message sounds urgent or official, don’t react. Call the number listed on the agency’s official website and get more information.

A few more tips:  Freeze your credit. Allow software updates. Don’t click on links you don’t know.

As artificial intelligence continues to evolve, cyber security will become even more important. The first line of defense is you.

Don’t give scammers and thieves any more ammunition.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

 

We were coming back from Bellville and stopped at Tony’s Restaurant in Sealy. A man wearing a cowboy hat was standing near the front doors. He asked about our day and tipped his hat to us.

The food was great, and we found out the friendly man who’d greeted us in the parking lot was Tony. He came by our table and chatted for a bit about his family, asked about ours, and hoped we’d have a delicious meal.

There’s a time and place for fast-food joints, but nothing beats eating at a family-owned restaurant. We are fortunate to have so many wonderful eateries here in our community.

People recognize the importance of supporting local businesses, especially when the experience is like coming home to mom’s kitchen. Plus, these restaurants are the ones who support our local baseball, football and soccer teams. You won’t find those thank-you plaques hanging in a fast-food chain’s lobby.

The owners visit each table, asking about the food, the service and if there’s anything you need. They refill water glasses and genuinely care about the service and quality you receive. They employ local teens and often families have worked there for generations.

Not only have they been around a while, but the food is often a family recipe passed down through generations. I’ve been to quite a few of these in our area, and friends on social media suggested a few more.

Bob’s Taco Station is not only locally recognized but also nationally as it was featured on “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.” The interior is fun and fascinating with memorabilia and quotes all over the walls.

The actual Bob is usually there to greet you, just as his father did before he passed away. Bob buys ads in all the local yearbooks, supports sports teams and just try getting tamales at Christmas if you didn’t pre-order.

Witt Pitt Barbecue is another local favorite. It’s not a big place, but it’s just the right size. The smell of their juicy brisket grilled onsite greets you the minute you walk in.

Jimmy Cantu’s Pier 36 is a favorite in this area, and Jimmy visits customers as well. Texas is known for barbecue, but Pier 36 will make a seafood lover out of you.

La Cocina near Pecan Grove not only serves great food but they always donate to local charities and sports teams. When we sit down, the server brings our drinks to the table, knowing what we want before we open our mouths. That doesn’t happen at a chain.

When we moved to this area over 35 years ago, Hunan Garden was one of the first places we went with the boys. They became fans of the “Bo-Bo Platter,” and now our grandchildren love ordering the same appetizer. Owner Elaine makes sure you get what you want and always encourages you to order something new.

Sandy McGee’s is a local legend, and most long-time residents remember Sandy’s original spot in Rosenberg. She’s been in downtown Richmond for many years, and the inside of the restaurant is as charming as she is. Her broccoli cheese soup is a local legend.

Down in Needville, Bayou Boys gets special shout outs, and they are also big supporters in the community, especially in tough times. Another Time Soda Fountain in downtown Rosenberg not only offers some of the best milkshakes and burgers in town, but listening to the nearby trains is a special treat.

Other great family-owned restaurants include Bull Creek Café and Grill – love their steaks – Ferso’s Mexican Cuisine, Tex-Y-Cano’s food truck, Tejas Mexican Grill and Café, Jay’s Café, and Tina’s on FM 359.

I know there’s many mom-and-pop places I missed, and I apologize for the oversight. If you’ll send me your favorites, I’ll post those places on my social media account because we all need a break from mass-produced burgers.

The next time you’re looking for a place to eat, skip the fast-food drive-through lines and support a family-owned business.

Remember, they support you.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

When you grow up in a large family, birthdays are often the only time you can claim the day to be your own.

In a family with seven children, birthdays were always a big deal. Unlike shared holidays like Christmas and Easter, our birthday was our special day.

Mom went out of her way to spoil each one of us when our birthday rolled around. She made our favorite dinner, and we got to choose the kind of cake we wanted.

Back then, you had to make cakes from scratch. Bakery store cakes were expensive, and the only kind of cakes Winn-Dixie carried were the Little Debbie varieties.

I’ve made cakes with an ingredient list as long as my arm, and the steps can be overwhelming. Thank goodness for companies like Duncan Hines and Betty Crocker. They allow you to claim home cook status without having to use five bowls.

All you have to do is open a plastic bag, dump it in one bowl and add water, oil and eggs. When ready-to-spread frostings came along, I thought I’d hit the lottery again.

One year, I told my son I’d take cupcakes to school for his birthday. He made me promise to bake the cupcakes, not buy them from the store. But, in typical mom fashion, I forgot to make the cupcakes the night before.

The next morning, I panicked. I bought ready-made cupcakes from the grocery store and a can of ready-to-spread frosting. I headed to the school parking lot with a plastic garbage bag and a butter knife.

I had a plan – scrape the store-made frosting off of the store-bought cupcakes into that plastic bag and re-frost the cupcakes with the ready-to-spread frosting. My boys thought that was home-made.

When all traces of the store-made frosting was gone, I opened the can of ready-to-spread and did my best to make the cupcakes look like I’d just taken them out of the oven.

No matter if you’re buying cupcakes from the store or whipping up a tried-and-true family recipe, birthdays are a time to recognize someone’s importance. In our family, February is prime birthday month.

This week, our daughter-in-law will celebrate her birthday on the same day her youngest son was born.

Erin handles a busy household with ease, and she has a great sense of humor, two traits sorely needed with five children. Young Danny has four older siblings who dote on this easy-going toddler.

The next week, it’s my youngest sister’s birthday. Donna lives in Virginia, and we’re hoping the snow melts in time for her to get out and celebrate her birthday in style.

She was a darling baby, an adorable toddler and she’s a beautiful woman. She is artistic and can transform a simple object into a piece of art. I’m lucky to have a couple of her paintings in my office.

My sister Diane and brother Johnny have back-to-back birthdays at the end of the month. Diane is extremely intelligent and a person who takes charge because she’s always the most capable person around.

She’s loyal, loving and her opinions and judgment are solid. Johnny is a man of faith, a soulful songwriter, self-taught guitarist and a gifted pen-and-ink artist.

At the end of February, we have back-to-back birthdays highlighting my nephew, brother-in-law, another nephew, niece, great nieces and great nephews. They are all bright lights in the family with larger-than-life personalities, brains and talents.

At the beginning of March, our brother Joey will celebrate his birthday.

Born with a gentle spirit and a quick wit, Joey quietly goes about his life in service to others, being a fabulous husband and a great “Papa Joe” to his grandchildren.

Happy birthday to the incredible people in our family who remind me every day how extremely blessed I am.

No matter when you celebrate your birthday this year, in the words of our late Grandma Marguerite, “remember to have fun along the way.”

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.