Twenty years ago, my father passed away shortly after midnight. Early the next morning, there was a knock on my mom’s door.

Women from the church were there with dinner and dessert. They either stayed up half the night or got up at 4 in the morning to make sure we’d have something to eat.

Days later when I came home, I was unloading the car when my friend Nancy came walking up the driveway. She had dinner, a salad and a dessert for us because she knew we were bone tired, both physically and mentally.

All these years later, I’m still amazed and humbled by the act of kindness these wonderful friends gave to our family and to me.

Delivering food to a grieving family might not seem like a big gesture.

But that act of kindness reaffirms that when we think the world is against us, there are still people who care.

A friend’s father passed away unexpectedly recently.  She and her husband were out of town when they got the news, and they planned to come home, repack and then drive the two days to her parents’ house.

When they arrived home, there were a couple of boxes on their front porch. Friends had packed travel snacks, drinks and treats for them.

Her friends went the extra mile to make sure that sad road trip was a little bit easier.

All the time they were in Tennessee, her friends sent meals and flowers. Her family was covered with thoughtfulness as they worked their way through the grieving process.

Many years ago, my mom wanted to paint our living room. She worked full time and had seven kids, but she wanted to spruce up the house. Saturday morning, three friends unexpectedly showed up at our front door holding paintbrushes.

They came to help. My mom was overwhelmed by the kindnesses these neighbors showed her.

I saw the smile on my mom’s face, and those women did more than paint. In one morning, they helped an overwhelmed mother feel not so alone.

My mom’s long-time friend Mona comes to visit her every Monday. Mona can drive, so she takes my mom out to lunch and then shopping. Mona makes sure Mom has somebody to talk to and help with her errands.

To Mona, she’s enjoying being with her friend. But for us, those visits are a lifeline for our mother. We’re eternally grateful to Mona for doing what seems like a small gesture to her but, in reality, is huge to us.

When my aunt’s house flooded, friends and family arrived wearing boots and gloves and quickly salvaged as many items as possible. Best of all, every time someone walked past my aunt, they handed her a beer.

So many times throughout the day, people bestow small kindnesses and they have no idea how much that gesture means.

Someone holds the door open for us, perhaps not realizing we had an awful day at work. They let us go in front of them in the grocery store, somehow sensing we’re bone tired.

A hug, a smile, a pat on the back – they don’t cost a dime, but they are gold to someone. We usually don’t know how badly the other person needed that human connection.

We think we need to do something big to make a difference, but it’s the small things in life that have the greatest impact.

Calling a friend, taking a milkshake to someone stuck at home, and stopping by to visit a mom with young children so she has an adult to talk to.

Small things are really the big things in life.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.