As I’ve gotten older, my outlook on birthdays has changed.
When I was young, I wanted a new Barbie doll. During my teenage years, it was a new album. In my 40’s, I wanted comfortable shoes. As we age, our wish list changes.
I looked online to see what people are looking forward to in their older years. One study said many people in their 60’s are happy.
That was the only good news in this article.
In depressing detail, the author went on to chronicle all the downsides of getting older.
Our risks of contracting cancer or another disease are on the rise. I think I’m safe from Mad Cow Disease and the bubonic plague, but “old people” illnesses are getting closer and closer.
We also have hearing loss to look forward to. I suppose all those hours of listening to Steppenwolf and Chicago full blast have come home to roost.
“Born to Be Wild” can’t be fully appreciated with the volume turned to three. That knob needs to go up to at least 10 with the bass fully loaded.
I’m okay with getting hearing aids. They fit behind the ears and are barely noticeable. I want to hear what everybody’s saying – being nosy has always been part of my DNA, and I’m not going to let vanity get in the way.
Right up there with hearing aids is the inevitable need to wear glasses. But no worries there. We don’t have to settle for stainless steel or thick black rims. We can order glasses in every color of the rainbow or, if we really want, contacts can change our eyes to any color we want.
What a world.
Our skin changes as we age. Wrinkles, age spots and bruises are part of the new landscape on our arms and faces. Since there’s not much I can do about those wrinkles, I’m fine with how I look. Most of those marks came from going to the beach, and since I adore the sun, sand and surf, I’ll take the wrinkles.
Our bones and joints ache, we don’t sleep through the night, and a visit to the doctor can be the highlight of our month.
After decades of eating Sugar Babies and Icees, our teeth start to give us trouble, but the dental industry is right there with implants and replacements. We can finally have that Pepsodent smile.
Our brains aren’t as sharp as they used to be. For some, dementia and mental decline is unavoidable, and my heart goes out to those people and their caretakers.
For the rest of us, it might take longer to pull up names and facts, but thanks to Google, we don’t have to rack our brains to remember who won the World Series in 1967.
It was the St. Louis Cardinals, by the way.
For all the things we can’t recall, there are things we do remember. We know what it’s like to hold a transistor radio up over our heads to get the best AM signal.
We remember how careful we had to be when putting 45 RPM records on our home stereo and how we guarded those yellow plastic discs like they were gold.
We remember eating Sugar Frosted Flakes, Sugar Pops, Sugar Smacks – pretty much sugar for every breakfast. We loved Oscar Mayer bologna sandwiches – and we can sing the catchy jingle.
I don’t know how to use most of the software on my computer nor do I know how to maneuver around a Google doc. My phone, television, car and grandchildren are smarter than I am.
But there’s hope because there are things this ole gal knows.
I can drive a manual transmission, and I know how to pop the clutch. I can brew a hearty pot of coffee using an old-fashioned percolator. Not only can I make a bed with hospital corners, I can fold a fitted sheet.
I am who I am – a work in progress with regrets, accomplishments, setbacks and leaps forward.
Old age is coming whether I like it or not. The best way to greet it is with open arms, streamers and an “I-dare-you” grin on my face.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.