The perks of being a geezer

I fell yesterday.

I was leaving a store and tripped over the rug by the door. No physical injuries except a bruised hand and knee. My pride, however, was crushed because, years ago, I never would’ve tripped.

Older people on commercials are young and energetic. They’re wearing a sweater around their shoulders, their silver hair beautifully combed. They’re slim and athletic as they ride their bike, mountains in the background.

Let’s get real.

I ride a bike but I’m wearing a helmet, and I’ll never win the Tour de France. Maybe the Tour de Geezers.

Getting older has been humbling. I can remember so many insensitive phrases that came out of my mouth when I was young.

“I’ll never dye my hair.”

“I’ll never turn the music down.”

“I wish this old goat would drive faster.”

“No way I’ll ever go to bed before midnight.”

My natural hair color now is battleship gray, so it gets dyed every six weeks.

I value the hearing I have left so I turn the music down. Occasionally I’ll turn the music up, but the reason is simple – I can’t hear it.  I’m not ready for hearing aids, but I do tend to turn radios up louder than I did 10 years ago.

On the freeway, I’m the old goat driving slower – my reflexes aren’t what they were when I was 18 years old. However, I’m not in a huge hurry anymore. I understand the store will still be open when I get there. No appointment is worth a speeding ticket.

When I was younger, the weekends were for staying up until 2 a.m. and hitting the IHOP for breakfast. I stayed up until one in the morning not too long ago. I was a zombie for a week.

There are some advantages to being older. We head to a restaurant early to beat the crowd. It’s five o’clock, but we’re in and out before the crowd shows up. Plus, dozens of restaurants offer a menu with smaller portions for seniors.

After the age of 55, there are all kinds of ways for seniors to save a few bucks. Retailers from Big Lots to Kohl’s to Walgreen’s offer discounts on specific days of the week to those of us old enough to remember when The Beatles first hit the music scene. Since we’re not punching a time clock, we can head to a retail shop on a Wednesday and take advantage of the mid-week discounts.

For $10, I’m the proud owner of an America the Beautiful Senior Pass that gives me free entrance to all national parks for the rest of my life.

Of course, I’ll have to do something about these bum knees so I’m able to enjoy walking the trails.

There are things we seniors no longer spend money on. We don’t have to go to the movie theater to see the newest release. Sooner or later, that movie will show up on free television.

We don’t worry about the latest fashion – sensible shoes beat out stiletto heels, flannel shirts are much warmer in the winter than silk, and I don’t own anything that has to go to the dry cleaners.

In our golden years – which are sometimes like fool’s gold – we fall. We need hearing aids, bifocals, and orthopedic shoes. Little by little, it seems we’re falling apart.

Looking back, though, there were shining moments.

We watched the first human walk on the moon.

We were the first ones to see Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader light up the screen.

Most of us bear a scar on our arm from the polio vaccine and no longer lived in fear of this disease.

We heard John F. Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. change the world.

You know, being a geezer ain’t all bad.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

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