Most fashion trends have a revolving-door life – they’re all the rage when they arrive, fade away and then eventually come back into vogue.

Some of these fashions, like neon blue eye shadow, should stay in the history books.

Others, like chiffon gowns, should come back every five years. If, however, you have a decorating style in your home that’s considered old-fashioned or out of touch, you’re shamed.

I’m here to say enough is enough to the fashion police who think they know everything and shame those of us who prefer styles and fashions they deem old fashioned.

I like earth tones in my house. The current kitchen trend is for white countertops, gray cabinets and gray walls. There’s no clutter on the countertops and the floors are – go ahead and say gray because that’s the right answer – gray.

This is great for some homes, but not for me. I like the rusts, golds and browns in our granite, and there’s no way I’d ever paint our wood cabinets. Each door has its own character, the irregular grains and random knots adding interest and personality.

I’ll also keep small appliances and knick-knacks on my countertops. The toaster and coffee maker are out in the open, right where I need them every single day, and our refrigerator is covered with art work, courtesy of our grandchildren.

The walls in the room where we watch television are covered with family photos. According to the decorating magazines, I should be ashamed of myself.

The walls should be painted – go ahead and say gray because, once again, that’s the right answer – gray and only expensively framed posters with French words on them should go on the wall.

Sorry but everything that hangs on the walls of our house has a special meaning. There’s a print we bought on our honeymoon over 35 years ago, photos we’ve taken over the years and posters my husband won in the many marathons he ran.

A picture our son drew in middle school has a prominent place in the hall as does the magazine article written about our eldest boy.

No way I’d take those memory pieces down and replace them with some expensive, cold poster.

I don’t want holes or rips in my pants and I especially don’t want to pay more for those holes.

The last time I looked at jeans, the ones with rips and tears were $25 higher than the plain Wranglers. Cue the old fogey voice here – when I was in high school, if you wore pants with rips or tears, your classmates thought you were too poor to afford decent clothes.

The only place I found jeans that’ll last more than three washings was at the feed and seed store, and they were half the price of the ripped ones.

I also want my shirts to reach below my hips. Granted, the women and girls buying these midriff shirts don’t have the stretch marks and belly rolls I have, but trying to find a shirt for my granddaughter that covered her abdomen was like trying to find tennis shoes that cost less than a tire for my car.

Just so I don’t sound like a cranky old lady, there are some wonderful current trends. Plaid’s back in vogue, as are hats and T-shirts in all styles. I loved high-waisted jeans in the 70s and I love them now.

Sweatpants, a staple of my winter wardrobe, are being sold in a variety of colors, finally earning the fashion industry’s respect.

Buck the trends, decorate and wear what you like and go ahead and keep your toaster out on the counter.

Come join me in my earth-toned kitchen and enjoy a cup of percolated coffee while we wish for the day bell bottoms come back in style.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

For most of Fort Bend County, school starts next week. If we thought last year was the most bewildering year in recent history, prepare for another three-ring circus.

No matter if teachers have to find a way to socially distance 36 kids in a classroom the size of your smallest bedroom or if it’s back to normal, here are some tips for you to remember as the 2021-22 school year begins.

One. The teacher is a human being. He or she will make mistakes, achieve incredible goals and cry herself to sleep. Give your kid’s teacher a break and if you’re criticizing without helping, you’re part of the problem.

Two. Your child is a human being. He or she will make mistakes this year. They’ll hit another kid, spill their milk and flunk a test. Find out the root of the problem before jumping to conclusions.

Three. Administrators are human beings. I don’t know any assistant principal or principal who wished they could spend all day assigning detention, checking to make sure teachers were on hall duty or breaking up fights.

They got into administration to help teachers and students achieve success. If you’re complaining that your darling couldn’t possibly be breaking the rules or they’re being too harsh for taking away your daughter’s cell phone when she had it out during class, you are making an administrator’s job harder.

Four. Make sure your child is prepared. That means getting kids to bed on time. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 9-12 hours of sleep a night for elementary students and 8-10 hours of sleep a night for teens.

If your third grader has to get up at 6 a.m. to get dressed and catch the bus, they need to be in bed by 8 p.m. at the latest. You know how you are when you’re tired – your child’s no different.

Five. Buy supplies now. You might not think your child will go through two boxes of 24-count crayons in one year.

That is incorrect thinking.

Your child will not only wear down the red and black crayons by Thanksgiving, they will break all the crayons in the box by Christmas. Buy back-up supplies now while they’re cheap. That 50-cent box of crayons is $1.50 in January.

Six. The teacher is right. No matter what your child tells you, back the teacher up first. My sons were notorious for blaming everything on the teacher. They learned that trick from blaming their youngest brother instead of accepting personal responsibility.

Seven. Make learning important. Parents are busy working from home or juggling two jobs to make ends meet. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put value on school work. Make it a priority to ask what they learned that day, but don’t fall for the “nothing” answer.

Ask specifics.

“What science experiment did you do today?” “What book did the teacher read to the class today?” “What did you play at recess?” Older teens would rather talk about what’s happening on the social level. Ask but don’t pry.

Eight. Be there. In the elementary schools, parents can barely walk down crowded halls on Open House night. On the secondary level, teachers get solitary work finished because few parents attend.

Your child needs to know you care about their academic success every single year, not just when they’re in grade school. Show up, meet the teachers and establish a line of communication so you know what’s happening.

Nine. Learning is 24/7. Put your phone down and encourage your children to seek out information and knowledge.

A car ride is an opportunity to talk about cars, traffic, weather, flowers, concrete, pollution – the list is endless. You can make your children life-long learners by teaching them to be curious about the world around them.

Ten.  Enjoy the year. No matter what happens, soak up these years with your child because they will never again be a second grader, a middle-schooler or a high-school senior. Your email, texts and Tik-Tok videos can wait. Your child will not.

Enjoy the year and buckle up.

It’s going to be a heck of a ride.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

 

Growing up, my dad had a direct, no-nonsense way of dispensing advice and marching orders to his seven children.

“Do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it” and “Do what I say, not what I do.” Simple, easy to understand and to the point. He dealt with us in that straight-forward manner until he passed away, even though his children were all adults with their own families.

At some point, children become adults, and it’s not always easy for parents to modify the way we impart advice.

When my boys were young, my friend, Helen, gave me the best advice – use one-syllable words and their entire name in circumstances requiring immediate obedience.

“Stop it” and “right now” were two of my favorites. Those two phrases met all of Helen’s criteria.

When they were teenagers, my mothering orders became lengthier. I read a lot of parenting books, and I tried their expert advice.

“Explain why you’re making that decision to your teen so they understand,” was one technique I thought would work.

I remember standing in my teenage son’s disaster of a room and explaining why it was in his best interests to put his dirty clothes in the hamper. I failed with that technique for months until I remembered Helen’s advice.

“Clean it up or you’re grounded” finally worked.

Now that all of my sons are adults, I’m realizing it’s hard to transition from the front-line mommy role to the bleacher-seat mom role.

My husband mastered the evolution with a lot more success than I did and only offers advice if asked.

On the other hand, I spout “words of wisdom” like I’m a soda machine.

I’m still trying to tell them what to do even though they are quite capable of running their own lives.

That realization is a little depressing because I want my sons to still ask me for help or advice. I want to help them through the tough times and ask me how to remove stains from a dress shirt.

My mom, Delores, has adult parenting down pat. I asked her how she manages to keep a good relationship with all seven of her adult children and her daughters- and sons-in-law.

She said the answer is easy – she never tells us what to do and she doesn’t get too involved in our personal lives.

The best she can do, she said, is to listen without judgment. She is there to love and support us, our spouses and especially our children and grandchildren.

Most importantly, Mom said we need to know she believes in our decisions and will stand by us no matter what path we decide to take.

“It’s that simple,” she said.

Maybe simple for her, but that advice is hard to put into practice. I tried her way when talking to my niece. Because of the coronavirus outbreak in Louisiana, she was looking at postponing her wedding.

She asked me what to do, and my first impulse was to spout off my opinion. I almost overlooked a golden opportunity to change the way I deal with my now adult nieces and nephews.

I thought long and hard about my mom’s philosophy. Then I told my wonderful niece I knew she’d do the right thing because she was smart and I believed in her.

Not giving advice was hard, but listening to her, really listening, and then talking to my niece like the intelligent, caring adult she is was a whole lot easier.

I hung up without my giving my two cents’ worth, and hoped I’d said the right things to her.

Now the hard part comes. When dealing with my now-adult children, I need to remember: “WWDD” – “What Would Delores Do?”

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

 

It’s back-to-school time. Some parents like shopping for school supplies with their children so their child will feel like they have ownership in their supplies.

Those now-frazzled parents will discover that’s the first and last time they let their children accompany them.

No matter if you shop in person or online, there’s always one item on the back-to-school supply list that’s impossible to find.

Manila paper is the needle-in-the-haystack school supply oddity this year.

Students use manila paper for art projects, so you’d think the stores would have boxes of manila paper. They have construction paper, neon paper, plain paper and cardstock. But manila paper? Forget it.

That’s the tip of the frustration iceberg called back-to-school supply shopping. It doesn’t matter whether you’re ordering online or standing in a line, the list is often confusing.

Here’s a breakdown of what you might find on the list and the questions you’re liable to face.

Ear buds. Are ear buds supposed to be the ones that plug into a keyboard or wireless buds? Get ready to buy them for anywhere from 99 cents to $59.99. Just know that sooner or later, your child will shove the ear buds up their nose.

Pencils. There’s pencils that smell like blueberries and pencils made in a swirl shape. Your child will curse you if you buy the swirly ones. We know who these children are because they’re the ones who can’t fit the swirly pencil into their plastic sharpener because it was made for the lowly #2 pencil.

Mechanical pencils have their pluses and minuses. On the plus side, if the lead breaks, the child can click and keep going.

On the minus side, most kids will click the whole stick of lead away or see how far they can click the lead out of the pencil before it breaks. Why? Because it’s fun and will drive the teacher and the parent crazy.

Pens should be an easy purchase. But should a parent buy gel pens? Ball-point pens? Pens in blue, black, green, purple or red ink? And what about the point – medium, fine or extra fine?

When you see the word “ruler,” you might think you’ve got it made.

Nope.

There’s wooden rulers, plastic rulers, plastic rulers you can see through and triangular rulers. And all of them come in every color of the rainbow. No matter what color you get, your child will want one like their best friend’s and it will not be the color you picked up.

Plain folders with brads. Easy enough to find, you might think, but there’s cardboard folders and plastic folders. There’s folders with bunnies on the front or racing cars.

And if mom accidentally buys all blue folders and the child next to yours has orange ones – you know your child’s favorite color is orange – you are suddenly the worst shopper in the world.

Crayons. Should you buy the washable crayons, the “colors of the world” crayons, Twistables, neon or pearl? If you stick with the basic colors, should you get the 8-count, 12-count or 24-count? Go ahead and be the most hated parent in the class – get the 64-count yellow Crayola box with the built-in sharpener.

Markers fall in the same category as crayons – way too many choices and sizes. Just make sure you get the washable markers, especially if you invested in white uniform shirts.

Three-ring binders. I could buy a half gallon of Blue Bell ice cream for the same price, and I’d get a lot more enjoyment out of a carton of pralines and cream than I would a plastic binder my kid will bend, break and deface the first week of school.

Happy back-to-school shopping. And remember… after the first day of school, it’s only 172 instructional days until summer 2022.

Hang in there.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.