It’s a dreary day and I’m going to tackle a dreaded chore I’ve been putting off for about 10 years – cleaning out the closet.

This isn’t first on my gotta-do list. I could sit down in front of the television with a bowl of popcorn and binge watch “America’s Worst Cooks.”

Or I could find mates to all the orphaned socks, clean out the junk drawer or vacuum under the couch.

But it’s time to roll up my sleeves and organize my closet, the one area where I find myself totally overwhelmed.

When we moved in, I promised myself I’d maintain my closet. All the pants went on the bottom rod and shirts and skirts went on the top.

I folded all the T-shirts and put those on a shelf. I lined up my shoes on a shelf instead of throwing them in a corner. Hangers were finally used.

That was years ago, and there’s only so much room in a closet. I faced the facts – some things needed to go.

T-shirts seem to be the most out of control, so I decided to start there.

I only own two long-sleeved T-shirts so both of those should stay. Same goes for the Christmas T-shirt – it’s the only holiday shirt I own.

There’s a couple of sentimental shirts from family reunions and from my teaching days. In the words of superstar organizer Marie Kondo, they “bring me joy” and get to stay.

At the bottom of the stack are two paint-splattered T-shirts. I use those for messy projects, so they have to stay as well.

Seems like I’m keeping all the T-shirts.

Time to move on to the dressy shirts.

Some have tags from stores that have gone out of business. Some are sleeveless, even though I won’t wear sleeveless shirts, and some are itchy or the collar’s too high.

However, I paid full price for them, so I’ll keep those as a reminder that full price doesn’t always mean full comfort. Also, for full price, I need to learn to like turtle necks.

On to the pants.

These seem to fall into three categories:  too small, barely fit or if I suck in my stomach and hold my breath, they’ll fit.

There’s a pair of jeans in the back part of the closet I wore before I had my first child.

They’re 40 years old, but one day, I’ll fit into those jeans.

One day, bell bottoms will come back in fashion.

One day hasn’t come yet, so I’ll hold on to those a little bit longer.

I’m not a fan of long sleeves but after this past winter where the temperature was 50 degrees in my house, I’m holding on to everything that’s warm.

Dresses are next. Now that I’m retired, I consider tossing all of the dresses on the donate pile, but there are some dress-up occasions I have to attend so I’ll keep all of them.

Dresses remind me I need high-heels. This one black pair isn’t the most comfortable but they make me feel tall, so I’m keeping them.

Another pair are like fun tap shoes, so they’re definitely staying.

These black flats were a terrific bargain, and I’ll keep those as a trophy to smart shopping.

I stand back with satisfaction – all the T-shirts are neatly folded on a shelf, pants are on hangers and the dresses are all facing the same direction.

The donate pile doesn’t have one thing in it, but that’s okay. When I lose weight, I’ll have a bunch of too-big clothes to donate.

That’s going to happen about the same time aliens land in my back yard and take me to their leader.

At least I can tap dance my way onto the ship.

 

This column was originally published in the Fort Bend Herald.