Every December, the debate bounces around in my head – artificial tree or real tree.

Those who have an artificial tree love the low-maintenance pluses. I’ve always enjoyed having a real Christmas tree – either cut down at a tree farm or purchased from a local nursery.

I grew up with having real Christmas trees except one year. My mom wanted to follow a trend in the 1960s and bought a silver artificial Christmas tree.

We didn’t speak to her for a week.

But with so many singing the praises of their artificial tree, I decided to take a hard look at the advantages and disadvantages of putting up a real Christmas tree.

Pine needles are sharp and they clog up the vacuum cleaner. The pesky needles that escape the vacuum worm their way into the carpet so they can puncture the bottom of your bare foot, even in July.

We walk past the tree and handfuls of needles fall, giving up needles like it’s a drunk Cajun throwing beads in a Mardi Gras parade.

Real trees don’t grow evenly, despite being trimmed during the year. We always get the tree home and discover huge bare spots. Usually we can put the hole next to the wall. Other times, we let the shortest grandchild hang as many ornaments as they want in that spot.

Sometimes the branches are heavy enough to support our bigger ornaments and sometimes the ornaments slide right off because the branches are weak. Some years, I’ve had to put the bigger ornaments back in the storage box.

Real trees are a nightmare for those with allergies. Artificial trees cure this problem, but they also don’t have that fresh tree smell. Of course, if you get your tree at the hardware store like we do, the tree was cut back in July and the smell is long gone.

Real trees are never the right size. They’re either too tall or too short. If you find one that seems to be the right size, the price is astronomical and you find yourself standing in the parking lot muttering you’d only spend that amount once if you had an artificial tree.

Artificial trees are convenient. When you’re ready to put up the Christmas tree, you climb the attic ladder, get the box down and you’re ready to decorate.

Real trees require a trip to the tree lot, rain or shine.

Then you have to tie the tree to the top of the car and hope it doesn’t fall off. Ours did one year when my husband was out of town, and I thought I could tie it on by myself.

Luckily a Good Samaritan stopped and tied the tree back on the roof of our van after the tree went sailing.

After Christmas, there’s the problem of what to do with the tree. Artificial trees go right back in the box. That task takes less than 30 minutes.

Those with real trees feel bad about leaving the tree by the curb for the trash collector. Some neighborhoods and local nurseries have recycling programs, but you have to cut the tree up and tie the branches in bundles.

See note about sharp needles on real Christmas trees.

In the end, artificial trees are convenient, neater and more economical.

Real trees shed all over the place, they’re uneven, dry out in a matter of hours and shed worse than the family dog.

They’re messy, always a surprise and require running one more errand during a busy holiday season.

The evidence is clear.

I’m sticking with the real tree.

 

 This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.