School starts in about a week for most of our youngsters. Even though I don’t have any young ones at home, I remember the excitement as summer wound down, knowing they’d be in school all day long.

Because I’m no longer up at 6 a.m. fixing school lunches, running frantically down the street in my slippers with a forgotten lunch box or searching for a non-existent blue and red pencil on the school supply list, here’s some advice for parents to help make those first few weeks a little easier.

First, no matter how you approach your child’s lunch, you’ll get it wrong. Either they didn’t like what was on the cafeteria’s menu, they dropped their tray on the way to their table or they didn’t like the sandwich you packed them – even though it was their absolute favorite the day before.

Secondly, if you have boys in third grade and older, do not put notes in their lunch box. Especially notes where you sign your name with pink hearts and smiley faces.

If your child takes a lunch to school, do your kid a favor – pack some junk food so your kiddo can be the top trader at their lunch table or just enjoy a treat. Sometimes, a Little Debbie cake goes a long way toward a smooth school day.

We all have questions when they come home, and we all get the same answer – “I don’t know.” If you ask the all-encompassing “how was your day” question, you will get one of two answers – “fine” or “horrible.”

Both will leave you with more questions than answers. Does “fine” mean they made friends, had a good time at recess and their best friend remembered they were their best friend?

Or does “fine” mean “don’t ask me any more questions because school was so wretched, I can’t even talk about it.”

Worse is the “horrible” answer. If your child is talkative, you’ll have 30 minutes of complaining about everything from the stupid note you put in their lunchbox – “only babies get notes from their mom” – to how stupid the kids are, how stupid recess is and how stupid school is in general.

You can’t fix stupid so ask questions that will put a smile on your child’s face and get you an answer. How about “so who picked their nose in class today?” Trust me, you’ll get an answer to that question.

At the very least, the question will lead to a discussion of why your child should not pick their nose in class and the importance of washing their hands on a regular basis.

Some children are natural talkers. My boys liked telling me who threw up in class, who said they had to throw up in class, that they were the one who threw up in class and the teacher said she was going to throw up in class if anybody made one more throw-up remark.

Taking them to school sounds appealing. You’ll have a picture of your little darlings piling into the car with smiles on their clean faces, their hair brushed and all supplies neatly snuggled in their backpacks.

Reality is quite different. If you can get everybody into the mini-van, you won’t get out of the driveway before somebody yells that they forgot their lunch, their homework or their backpack.

As you wait for said child to run inside and get the item, you’ll notice nobody brushed their teeth or their hair. One child will probably be wearing the same clothes they wore the day before, so that child has to run in and change.

On the way to school, you’re driving as fast as you safely can, all the while giving all the children a lecture about being on time, the importance of choosing their clothes the night before and that their inability to remember things makes everybody late.

You’ll screech into the school parking lot, everybody will pile out without a backwards glance and you’ll breathe a sigh of relief. Then you’ll hit the “play” button on your iPod and listen to the entire “Hallelujah Chorus,” a smile on your harried face.

And then realize you have 180 more fun days just like this one in front of you.

 

Denise Adams’ email is dhadams1955@yahoo.com.