There’s a new trend in handling toddler temper tantrums. While the child is in melt-down mode, the adult calls out “Jessica? Where are you?”

In what seems like magic, the toddler stops crying and looks around, confused because there’s no Jessica in their house.

Child experts explain the science behind this trick. It’s called “pattern interrupt.” The child’s brain has to stop and figure out what’s happening. The shift in what they think is going to happen causes them to stop throwing the tantrum.

The interrupt is unexpected, and that’s why it works. The parent could call out any non-familiar name, and the child should stop throwing the tantrum.

There is disagreement as to whether this is a good option. Some child experts say the trick doesn’t teach the child how to redirect their feelings. We should be teaching them how to monitor their behavior, not finding a get-around.

Have these people ever been in the middle of a toddler meltdown? Have they ever stood over a screaming child on Aisle 3 in the grocery store? I think not.

I’ve been in the middle of toddler meltdowns. Redirecting gently isn’t what’s my mind went when they’re crying hysterically because you used the blue bowl instead of the red bowl.

One of my sons had a bad habit of biting when he was young. I read Dr. Spock’s book from cover to cover. I tried telling my son that biting was unacceptable. I tried putting him in time out.

At Mother’s Day Out, we moved him to the older class, hoping the bigger kids wouldn’t allow him to bite. He found out they had no problem shoving him if he got too close.

He found a way around that constraint — he continued to bite his brother at home and anyone younger than he was.

One day, my little carnivore came up behind me while I was washing dishes and bit me on the back of my thigh. I saw stars.

I turned around and did what my grandmother had been telling me to do for weeks – I bit him back. He didn’t expect that reaction, and it was the last time he bit anybody.

So much for expert advice.

Before I had children, I foolishly believed I didn’t really need child experts to tell me how to be a fabulous parent.

“My children will never do that” was a frequent phrase I’d use when judging other parents. My grandmother would simply chuckle while listening to me.

“Don’t spit up in the air,” she’d say with a smile.

I ate every single one of the judgmental words before experiencing life with three wild boys.

My children will always wear matching clothes and be clean from head to toe whenever we go out.

The two youngest wore a cape and cowboy boots everywhere we went for years. Sometimes they had a play sword tucked in their pants. I got used to the stares.

At the end of a long day with no idea what to cook for dinner, nutrition flew out the window.

You want pancakes? M&M’s on the top? No problem. We had pancakes for dinner despite experts telling me maple syrup is empty calories. This wasn’t a regular meal choice.

Okay. It was a regular meal choice. Parenting three boys is exhausting.

The next time I see a screaming toddler in the store, I’m going to try out this Jessica hack. The worst that can happen is someone named Jessica will say “I’m right here.”

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.