Most people don’t like attending funerals. As a society, we know we should attend to pay our respects to the person who passed away and to show support for the grieving family.
Our grandmother, Marguerite, was specific about how she wanted her funeral plans carried out.
She wanted the visitation and funeral on the same day so people wouldn’t have to stay overnight.
She wanted a happy event, and we were instructed to make the eulogy fit that mode. For the closing song, she wanted “When the Saints Come Marching In,” and we obliged.
My cousin, Sylvia, and I gave the homily sporting Mardi Gras beads and sunglasses as Grandma was a native of New Orleans. She always signed letters to us “have fun along the way,” and we felt the service needed to fit her philosophy.
This past week, I attended the funeral of Theresa Elizabeth Schulte McGarry, the mother of our brother-in-law, Jimmy.
Mrs. McGarry had been in ill health for the past few years, and people say it’s a blessing when they pass.
That’s not so.
It’s one of the hardest goodbyes in the world, but especially for this incredible woman.
Siblings, cousins and in-laws sat around my sister’s living room and watched a slide show with pictures from Theresa’s life. They had so many stories to tell.
First of all, there was a happy marriage for 67 years to Rod McGarry. Theresa was the love of his life and he was hers.
Photos showed a couple that went from a typical 1950s small home to filling a house with cribs, toys and children. Siblings said their mom made most of her own clothes and theirs, even when there were seven of them.
Whenever they went on vacation, Jimmy said they knew to pack a bathing suit, casual clothes and their Sunday best. Theresa always knew where Sunday Mass would be celebrated, and the entire family went to Mass.
Her son, Mike, wrote her obituary which revealed a life of service and love. She’d considered becoming a nun, but changed her mind and became a teacher and then a mother. She was active in her church, and ran their home like a brigadier general.
Along with rearing seven children, Theresa was a Girl Scout leader and volunteer for over 25 years. She served as president of the Baton Rouge Girl Scout Council for two years. She got her commercial driver’s license, Mike said, so she could drive the troop around the country on a school bus.
She and Rod visited all 50 states in their RV, often taking a grandchild or two along. They also visited the same number of foreign countries.
Once their children had families of their own, Rod and Theresa rented condos at Gulf Shores, Ala. every summer. Everyone attended because they knew the importance of keeping in touch and making sure the next generation was as close as the uncles and aunts were.
After the service, their daughter Kay asked the grandchildren to raise their hands if Grandma and Grandpa had attended their graduation from high school or college.
All 21 grandchildren raised their hands. She asked if any of them had received funds from an educational grant the McGarrys set up. A sea of hands went up. They said they might not have gone to college without the encouragement of their parents and grandparents.
When some of the grandchildren came up to talk to Mr. McGarry, who lost his sight a few months ago, there was only love and interest. It was “I’m so glad you’re here. Tell me everything you’ve been up to. I can’t wait to hear all about you.”
Theresa’s priorities, Mike said, were never in question – faith, family, education and adventure. As I looked around the room at the McGarry children, spouses, cousins, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I knew this family had sewn a legacy of love and friendship that was continuing into the next generation.
What an incredible life you lived, Mrs. McGarry. You will be remembered with laughter, cherished, loved, emulated and never forgotten by family, friends, the many girls you inspired and those lucky enough to have known this gentle yet strong woman of God.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.