Easter is coming soon and we’re all hoping for a more optimistic Easter than we had last year.
This year, the candy shelves are full, and shoppers can be a little more particular about what treats to pick up for the holidays.
To help save you money and time, here’s my top 10 list of Easter candies ranked from worst to best.
# 10 – Jelly beans. Unless you spend money for the top brand of jelly beans, the inexpensive ones are awful.
The taste stays on your tongue like glue, and the gummy residue sticks to your teeth. Don’t try convincing me that black licorice jelly beans taste good. Or coffee jelly beans. Some flavors need to stay in their original lane.
#9 – Anything nutritious. Sorry, but Easter is the one day when sugar highs should be allowed.
I know the dangers of sugar – some people equate it to heroin – but I’ll take my chances on the sweet train this one day.
#8 – Nestles Crunch. When I was a kid, that red, white and blue wrapper signaled the best candy bar on the shelf.
Not anymore.
There’s too much crunch and not enough milk chocolate. I’ll give them credit for their 1950s commercials where we’re reminded that “N-E-S-T-L-E-S – Nestles makes the very best chocolate.”
#7 – Cadbury Crème Eggs. I know Cadbury is, for many people, the pinnacle of top-notch Easter candy. However, that cream stuff in the middle is the messiest candy around.
If you bite into the egg, the gooey center drips down your chin, making a huge mess. Also, that fondant center is taking up space where there could be chocolate.
#6 – Off-brand chocolate. I’m a bargain shopper and try the off-brands before spending money on name brands. However, chocolate is one item where you get what you pay for. Off-brand chocolate has a waxy texture and taste.
There’s one exception to this rule and that’s the giant chocolate Easter bunny. It doesn’t matter how those taste, Easter baskets aren’t complete unless there’s a Peter Cottontail chocolate bunny in the fake grass. Besides, the only parts we ever ate were the ears.
#5 – Miniature candy bars. Not enough chocolate. When I look down and see there’s a pile of wrappers in front of me, I feel guilty.
In fact, a dozen of those candies probably doesn’t add up to one candy bar, and they still make me feel like I need to go to confession. Still, they’re great when you need a small chocolate fix.
#4 – Peeps. This admission will probably ban me from social media but there’s too much sugar and too much marshmallow. But I accept the unwritten rule that an Easter basket isn’t complete without those yellow Peeps.
#3 – Hershey’s Kisses – Just because they wrap the Kisses in pink and purple foil instead of the standard silver doesn’t make them any more special. Still, we all need those kisses sprinkled in the fake grass.
The downside, if there could be any downside to chocolate, is the holiday wrappers remind you how old those Kisses are when you find them in your robe pocket in July. But you’ll eat them anyway.
#2 – Reese’s Peanut Eggs – these are the same recipe as a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, which I love. But for some reason, the Easter ones have a little too much peanut butter filling and not enough chocolate. A regular Reese’s Peanut Butter cup has the perfect balance of chocolate and peanut butter. So Reese’s stays at the top of the list.
#1 – Cadbury Mini Eggs – these delicious confections are the Maserati of Easter candy. That hard candy shell protects rich chocolate, and you can either chew them for an instant burst of flavor or let them melt on your tongue to prolong the sweetness.
You can only buy them at Easter, and I know people – me – who buy five or six bags so they can savor them all year long.
So happy egg hunting and Happy Easter! And if you can’t find any Cadbury Mini Eggs on the shelves, you’ll know who’s hoarding them.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.