Mother’s Day with my mom and family was a blast. Brother Jimmy and his crew boiled shrimp, crab and lobsters, and we had fun playing games and visiting with our delightful cousin, Amy, who flew in from New York.

We didn’t use fancy dishes or plates, and we didn’t worry about what we were wearing. The conversations never stopped as we reached over each other for paper towels and bowls of butter.

The best family shindigs are ones where we don’t worry about impressing anyone else. But so many times, we work ourselves into exhaustion because we think we must have a clean house in order to have a successful gathering.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the long list of “you musts.” It’s time for parents to shred that list.

Magazines and websites try to make us feel guilty if we’re not entertaining like royalty is visiting.

The shame they create is tough to resist because we all want to be the best at taking care of our families.

One area where we’re shamed is the laundry. It’s not enough for them that we wash and sometimes fold our clothes. Now they want us to do laundry stripping.

This requires people to soak clothes in a special mixture of borax, detergent and baking soda for six hours, rinse, refill the tub and soak the laundry for another six hours.

Who has 12 hours to devote to one load of laundry?

Who can tie up a bathtub all day long and who wants the back-breaking job of hauling all that wet laundry to the washing machine?

Not me. Cheap laundry sheets in the dryer will have your clothes smelling just fine.

Unless there’s someone in your family with severe allergies, forget dusting furniture. During the pandemic, I decided to dust the shelves in our living room. The last time I’d done that was eight years ago when we moved in.

No one, and I mean no one, has ever looked on those shelves and no one ever will.

Don’t beat yourself up because the tables in your bedroom have a fine coating of dust on them. My friend Pat has a great rationalization for not hauling out a can of Pledge – dust serves as a protective covering for furniture.

Check picking your child’s outfits off the list.

Years ago, our eldest son was participating in the Cub Scout Pine Wood Derby race. I went early to set up, and my husband brought our two youngest boys later.

The kids showed up in plaid pants, striped shirts, tube socks pulled up over their knees and full cowboy get up – boots, hat and holster. Dad and sons were proud of themselves for getting ready all by themselves.

I worried the other moms would judge me. But our kids had a blast, clomping around in their boots, waving their hats, and were confident in the choices they made.

Cooking a magazine-quality family meal is always on the mom guilt list.

Growing up, one of us spilled a glass of Kool-Aid every single meal. We ate from plates my mom got using stamps from Winn-Dixie, and we our drinking glasses were washed-out jelly jars.

To this day, my memories of family dinners is one of fun discussions, great food and knowing our family loved each other.

And that’s what moms really want – for their families to love each other.

Remember, you don’t have to be perfect.

It’s okay to have an unorganized pantry. It’s okay to have peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches for lunch and dinner.

It’s okay to have a bowl of plastic fruit on the table.

So sit back, shove the unfolded laundry aside on the couch and watch “Moana” with your kids.

Perfect is boring. I’ll take a messy, spur-of-the-moment life any day of the week.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.