Store aisles are crowded these days. Overwhelmed shoppers are blocking aisles, school-supply list in hand, while youngsters beg for glitter crayons or three-ring binders big enough to hold a copy of “War and Peace.”

The faces of the parents seemed to be wondering why they were piling their cart up with boxes of glue sticks, pencils and paper when they had to practically beg their child to write more than 25 words for a book report.

This question is legitimate, but parents need to understand just how kids use school supplies.

Children dispense enough hand sanitizer as if they’re going to clean their entire body. They don’t just clean their hands – they rub the sanitizer all over their arms, neck and sometimes their legs.

Most of them will taste the sanitizer at least once. When the teacher isn’t looking, they’ll fill up their hand with the goopy stuff, stick their tongue in the puddle and decide whether or not they like the taste.

Now you know why the teacher needs gallons of hand sanitizer.

When it comes to tissues, I’ve yet to see a child retrieve just one tissue out of the box – they’ll stand in front of the box and yank out tissue after tissue until someone stops them.

Now you know why teachers need extra boxes of Kleenex.

Children are taught to sneeze into the crook of their elbow.

None of them do that. They sneeze right onto the table and the teachers have to quickly wipe that up.

Now you know why the teacher needs a zillion bottles of Clorox wipes.

Highlighters and markers dry out when the tops aren’t put on tight. Children have a different idea about the tops of the markers. They on the end of their tongue, perfect when they want to pretend they’re a rattlesnake or cobra.

Now you know why their highlighters dry out in three weeks.

Here’s the reason you need 148 Ticonderoga pencils.

One year, pencil break was a favorite recess pastime. This is when kids hold pencils out like a board in a karate class. The others try and break the pencil. Most of the time, they’re successful.

Plus nothing’s more fun for a child than standing at the electric pencil sharpener and watching it eat their pencil right out of their hand.

A bottle of glue is the best excuse for creating a new layer of skin on a child’s hands. They’ll pour out as much glue as they can, smooth it out and wait for it to dry. They love nothing more than grossing out the other kids by pretending to peel off a layer of skin.

And now you know why teachers need a gallon of glue.

If a child makes a mistake on a piece of paper, they erase it. Of course, they will erase until the eraser is half gone and there’s a hole in the paper.

So they get a new piece of paper out of their backpack. This can go on at least five more times until the teacher tells them it’s okay to cross out a mistake.

Now you know why they go through notebook paper and erasers so fast.

Glue sticks are fun and children believe you need a lot of glue in art projects. You need lots and lots of glue, in fact, to make sure those construction-paper feathers stick to the cut-out of the turkey.

The tops will get knocked onto the floor and land right next to the tops to all the now dried-out markers and highlighters. Those forgotten tops will stay on the floor until the custodian sweeps them up and throws them away.

Now you know why they need 15 glue sticks and new markers.

So happy shopping, parents, and remember you’re not alone. Somewhere out there is another parent, wandering the school-supply aisle muttering “How many bottles of glue do I have to buy?”

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.