Grandchild number six is coming our way in August, and it’s been a while since we’ve helped outfit an infant.

Things have changed.

Our mother’s right arm flung across our chests if the car came to a sudden stop was considered safe enough when we were kids. Required car seats came along and changed the world.

When my now 42-year-old son was born, the infant car seat weighed about five pounds. They cost less than $20 and did the job.

By the time the third child came along, the price had tripled and the car seat/baby carrier weighed about 20 pounds. By the time he could walk, I had biceps like Thor’s.

Today’s car seats are called a system. There’s a base that stays in the car. You press one button on the top and the seat detaches and hooks right into the stroller, also part of the system.

There’s a cost for that technology — $700.

I kid you not.

Diaper bags still serve the same purpose – lugging around three or four Pampers, teething rings, an extra onesie, wipes and a bowl of dry cereal.

My purse was the best diaper bag around. I fished stale Cheerios and Froot Loops out of the bottom of that purse for years.

Today’s diaper bags start out at $75 because they’re considered designer bags. Call them what you may, but they still only have room for diapers, a change of clothes and a bowl of organic cereal.

No baby home is complete without toys. Our sons had quite a bit of fun banging Tupperware measuring cups and wooden spoons on an old pot or the floor. The price tag for today’s sensory toys starts at $19.95 and they don’t even talk to you.

When it comes to outfitting the baby’s room, the costs are high. Years ago, crib sheets came in three colors – white, yellow and light green. I remember paying $5 for one and thinking that baby would be sleeping like a king.

Today’s shoppers must go through sticker shock because crib sheets come in sets – gotta have the matching pillow – and can sell for up to $179 for one sheet and one accompanying item.

Baby bottles were made out of plastic – clear or white. You could find them at any late-night Piggly-Wiggly. The price was right – 99 cents for three.

You can still find the cheap plastic ones, but you’d be labeled a slacker if you showed up at Chuck-E-Cheese with those.

Today’s baby bottles come in colorful sets, complete with a choice of glass or plastic. They claim to help with colic, burping and gas, problems all of my babies had.

The only sure-fire cure came from my grandmother – a little baking soda in a teaspoon, add water, and give to the baby until he belched. Worked every time.

Let’s not forget the strides we’ve made in diapers.

When my eldest was born, I wanted to be a natural woman and save the planet. I bought a package of 12 cotton cloth diapers, baby diaper pins and plastic pants.

Those cloth diapers became dust cloths after the first time I cleaned a dirty one in the toilet. After that, I’d have given up my high heels before I’d give up disposable diapers.

Go ahead and buy those fancy nets and plastic fences to try and prevent a child from getting their head stuck in between the spindles on the staircase.

They’re going to try and stick their head through there anyway.

And they’ll try to flush candles down the toilet.

And they’ll write on the walls with a black marker you overlooked underneath the recliner.

No matter the price tag, some things never change.

Babies will cry when they’re hungry, overflow a diaper when you don’t have a spare and reject every pacifier you buy them.

We’re hoping grandchild number 6 settles for the three-for-a-dollar binkies.

 

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.