From ‘You’re killin’ me Smalls’ to ‘Back off, man. I’m a scientist,” why I love the movies

Some movies are instantly recognizable with just one line – “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give…” “You’re gonna need a bigger boat…” or “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.”

Movies have given us quotable lines since talkies were invented. Those lines include “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse” from the original Godfather movie and, a personal favorite, “You’re killin’ me Smalls” from “The Sandlot.”

“The Wizard at Oz” has quite a few memorable lines, including “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” and “There’s no place like home.”

The “Back to the Future” movies have dozens of great lines. My favorite back-and-forth comes from the first movie.

When Marty lands in 1955, Doc Brown is doubting the teenager came from the future.

Doc Brown:  “If you’re from the future, who’s the president of the United States.”

Marty:  “Ronald Reagan.”

Doc Brown:  “The actor? Who’s secretary of the treasury? Jack Benny?”

I was in a crowded movie theater, and the entire place laughed so loud, I almost couldn’t hear the next two minutes of the movie.

Some of my favorite lines come from the 1989 movie “Steel Magnolias. I’ve dropped the line “I love you more than my luggage” a few times in my life.

When I want a deep insult, this line runs through my head: “The nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos were spelled correctly.”

“O Brother Where Art Thou” is an Hebert family favorite. When the situation required it, which happens a lot more than I ever thought possible, I’ve muttered “You guys are dumber than a bag of hammers.”

I’d almost forgotten about a movie that has some of the best quotable lines of the past 50 years – the original “Ghostbusters.”

Written by Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis, the creative screenplay is filled with snappy dialogue delivered by some of the best comics of the 1980s.

Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, and Harold Ramis are perfect together. They serve up lines and someone else serves it back to score the point.

It’s easy to miss some of the funnier lines, something I realized when I watched “Ghostbusters” a week ago. I found myself laughing out loud, so I started writing down some of my favorite lines.

Here’s my top five:

“Back off, man, I’m a scientist.”

“We better split up. Yeah, we can do more damage that way.”

“You don’t act like a scientist. You’re more like a game-show host.”

“This is a sign all right. It’s a sign we’re going out of business.”

“I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results.”

One of the best scenes comes when the ghosts have been let loose, thanks to an obnoxious EPA representative. The mayor of New York isn’t sure if he should listen to the Ghostbusters, who have a solution, or listen to the EPA guy who wants to throw them in jail.

Venkman, played by Bill Murray, tells the mayor “If I’m right, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.”

The Ghostbusters got the green light.

My all-time favorite line from “Ghostbusters” comes toward the end of the movie.

After almost getting killed by the big bad Gozer, Winston, still gasping for breath, says, “Ray, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say yes.”

The line I’ve used the most from any movie is delivered by Michael “Squints” Palledorous in “The Sandlot.”

He’s waiting for Benny to finish giving instructions to the new kid, Smalls, who hasn’t a clue about baseball.

When “The Jet” finally throws the ball, Squints can’t help but yell “It’s about time Benny. My clothes are going out of style.”

So the next time you’re in the market for a good laugh, you know who you’re gonna call.

Yep. Ghostbusters.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

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