Halloween is a fun event, especially for children. Many of us remember picking out a special costume, dressing up and walking the neighborhood, knocking on doors and saying “trick or treat.”
Back then, Halloween was all about free candy. The scary part didn’t occur to us, but it did to Hollywood. Producers did their best to capitalize on the fright with movies like “Nightmare on Elm Street” and “Scream.”
Parents pushed back, asking for friendly Halloween stories. Witches went from the “Wizard of Oz’s” terrifying Wicked Witch of the West to the sisters on “Charmed.” Vampires no longer lurk outside your window to suck your blood. Now they’re a heart-throb in young-adult romance novels.
Perhaps the change has been because grown-ups don’t like to admit when they’re scared. Deep down, most of us are still kids scared to turn off the lights at night.
Sure ghosts and abandoned houses are scary. But when it comes to really scary, here are some adult things I’ve found to be the most terrifying.
Transmission trouble. Someone telling me they’ve seen a ghost would make me curious. Having a mechanic tell me I need a new transmission is downright terrifying. That repair costs more than the contents of my house.
Check engine light. When that light comes on in my car, I hit the panic button. The problem could be something simple chances are it’ll be an expensive fix. If that light starts blinking, then we’re talking major scare. I tried putting black electrical tape over the light, but my husband said that wasn’t a real fix.
Home repairs. The last time we had a plumber come out to change out some faucets, the bill was over $500. When our air conditioner went out, that cost was in the thousands. So whenever, I hear an appliance complaining, my checkbook starts choking.
The second gray hair. The first gray hair was easy. I’d always said I’d let my hair go gray gracefully. Then my hair exploded in iron-gray strands. Forget aging gracefully. I called Rosie, my friend and long-time hairdresser, and we’ve been banishing those grays for years. I have no plans to stop.
My first grown-up paycheck. I’ll admit I cashed it and asked the banker for all 1’s. That was quite a stack. But when I looked closer at that paycheck and saw all the deductions, I realized the government would be taking a good chunk of my money every single paycheck for the rest of my working life.
My first varicose vein. My first varicose vein showed up when I was 16 years old. My after-school job was standing on my feet for hours working the snack counter at a movie theater. I thought it was just a couple of blue lines, nothing to worry about.
Three kids later, the sides of my knees looked like a road map. I had them checked out and no worries. But I quickly discovered, just that first gray hair, if one shows up, the rest of the whole family’s on its way.
There’s a few other things I’m afraid of. At the top of my fear list is snakes. Any snake, any size, any color. I don’t care if they’re “good” snakes.
As far as I’m concerned, the only good snake is in somebody else’s yard.
In the next town.
In addition to snakes, most people are scared of at least three of the following horrors: spiders, germs, heights, needles, airports, doctors, zombies, thunder, cockroaches that fly, bats, dogs, ticks, bears, flesh-eating bacteria, sharks, lizards or that balding spot on the crown of your head.
They say to conquer your fears, you need to face them.
I’m all for that.
Unless it’s a snake.
Then I’m running for the hills.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.