A soap by any other name

My grandmother often stayed with us during the summers. Those were memorable times as she was fun, strict, a bit irreverent, and always smelled like Chanel No. 5.

She didn’t like to get up early, but she was always bathed and ready for 12:30 p.m. because that’s when “The Edge of Night” came on television.

We knew better than to disturb her when Mike and Nancy were on the screen.

People often laugh at those who get addicted to the “soaps,” but those half-hour dramas are a part of numerous cultures, no matter what they’re called.

In high school, I became a devout watcher of “The Young and The Restless.” The show featured fresh and strong women with great hair who didn’t bother with bras.

Plus hunk Tom Selleck was a regular on the show.

My siblings were forbidden from making any excess noise from 11-11:30 a.m. because Lori, Leslie, Phillip and Jill would be battling out life.

I loved that soap so much, I scheduled my college classes around “TY&R.”  After my parents started watching TY&TR, I switched over to “General Hospital.” I couldn’t see myself discussing forbidden love with my parents.

The show was a favorite of mine for years. I remember a conversation I had in the grocery store with three women waiting in three different lines about “General Hospital’s” Luke and Laura.

The entire country was mesmerized by the story line of “who shot J.R.” from the night-time soap “Dallas.” My friends and family were glued to the T.V. when the season premiere aired with the answer of who’d shot the evil megalomaniac from the “Big D.”

That was followed by “Knot’s Landing,” “Everwood,” and “Falcon Crest.” Women over the age of 50 better belly up to the bar and admit they had at least one dress with big shoulder pads, courtesy of Linda Evans from “Dynasty.”

Although I’ve never seen one episode of “Downton Abbey,” the PBS series has thousands of viewers who read the online message boards, dress like their favorite characters and – like me in college – wouldn’t miss an episode of their soap, I mean drama.

The daytime soaps these days still revolve around sex, greed and smoldering looks between good looking people. Come to think of it, so do the night-time and premium channel soaps.

The only real difference between “The Kardashians” and “The Guiding Light” is the amount of wardrobe money and hair spray allotted to the stars.

Which brings me to the current popular soap, HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” People might not think GOT is a soap, but the show has a lot in common with the daytime dramas.

Both have dragons. The dragons from old soaps were the ancient matriarchs who caused trouble. GOT has fierce in-family fighting, but Victor Newman has argued and fought with every person in his family.

“The Edge of Night” had my grandmother.

“Game of Thrones” has me.

My son asked me to read the books and watch the show a few years ago so we could talk about them. I was hooked from the first episode despite its deserved “R” “rating.

People say the show is violent.

I agree.

They say there’s excess profanity.

I hear that every day in rush hour traffic, and it’s coming from my mouth.

Just like I know nobody on the daytime soaps ever cleans a toilet, I know there’s no such thing as white walkers or dire wolves.

But that’s what the world of entertainment’s all about.

Take me away, Calgon, from the constant, senseless and cruel violence in this world to the make-believe world of diamonds and pearls, flawless make up and fire-breathing dragons.

That’s what makes fiction so deliciously fun.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald. 

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