They’re back.
They’re more addictive than chocolate-covered strawberries and fresh, hot buttered popcorn at the movie theater.
Once again, I’m writing about Cadbury Mini Eggs.
Those delicious, calorie-heavy delicious solid milk chocolate eggs covered in a thin coating of a hard candy shell that are absolutely irresistible.
In my humble, chocoholic’s opinion, Cadbury Eggs are the only Easter chocolates worth the calories.
Yes, there’s other Easter candies out there that have been around longer and are more closely associated with Easter.
Specifically, the marshmallow Peeps. According to their website, over 700 million yellow, pink and blue sugar-covered marshmallow Peeps are sold every year.
All traditional Easter baskets have a few yellow Peeps peeking out over the plastic green grass, but that’s too much straight sugar for me.
Likewise with jelly beans, yet their popularity grows every year. As a result, everybody’s trying to get into the jelly bean business – there’s Starburst, Brach’s, Mike & Ike, Starburst and Jolly Ranchers jelly beans.
The Jelly Belly Company took the guess work out of jelly bean sleuthing. They print a picture of the jelly bean and its flavor on the back of the bigger bags for those who hate surprises. Nothing’s worse than biting into a red Jelly Belly, thinking it’s cherry, and your mouth burns because it’s cinnamon.
No Easter basket is complete without the requisite chocolate bunny. The basic think-walled chocolate bunnies — the ones with the candy eyes and carrot necktie – still rule the middle shelf of the candy aisle.
As they should.
A look up and down the Easter candy aisle this week revealed dozens of spin offs from the Easter basket basics. There’s a cellophane package that looks like a carrot filled with Reese’s Pieces.
Sorry, Reese’s Pieces, but you’ll always be the Easter wanna-be when it comes to the granddaddy of Easter candy, the basic M&M.
Easy to eat and delicious, even though every single one tastes exactly the same, no Easter basket is finished unless the Easter Bunny throws a handful of plain M&Ms into the basket.
Nothing comes close to the basic M&M for the most chocolate in a small package. Not a mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Not the gold-covered chocolates that look like coins but taste like wax. Imposters all, so I’m glad my Easter Bunny insists on the real thing – M&Ms.
For those who want something a little bigger than an M&M, there’s Lindt fancy chocolates. At $7 a bag, that’s a treat the Easter Bunny leaves for mom and dad.
And why shouldn’t the parents get a gift from the Easter Bunny? We subsidize that rabbit, so we should get a cut of the action at the front end.
But back to the gold standard of Easter basket treats, the Cadbury Mini Egg. Some of the chocolatiers tried to cash in on Cadbury’s action a few years ago with solid milk chocolate eggs.
Sorry, Hershey’s and Nestlé’s, but your brand of chocolate is best enjoyed in a long, thin bar, not a chunk of chocolate wrapped up in foil that’s almost impossible to remove.
So if anybody’s interested in starting a “Cadbury Eggs Anonymous” group, give me a shout. I could be off the hook, though, because Cadbury Eggs are only available in the United States around Easter. After that, one has to order them online and pay a hefty shipping fee.
Even this Cadbury Egg addict won’t pay for extra shipping, and I don’t think I can convince the Easter Bunny to make a return appearance in May.
This Easter, may your blessings, chocolates and jelly beans be plentiful. And may the Easter Bunny bless you with not one but two bags of Cadbury Mini Eggs.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.