“He was so young,” my mom would say with a sigh as she read the obituaries in the daily newspaper. “He was only 65.”

I remember hearing her say those words when I was a teenager and thinking “Sixty-five? That’s ancient.”

The closer I get to that age, the more I think “Sixty-five? That’s so young!”

The obituary page and I have a long association, starting with those daily musings from my mom. I largely ignored the obituaries unless a friend’s parent passed away or someone I knew died unexpectedly.

It wasn’t until I came to work at this newspaper that I discovered the importance of a well-written obituary. One of my first job responsibilities was typing up the obituaries and occasionally helping a family member write an obituary for a loved one.

At first, I distanced myself from the obituary, telling myself they were people I didn’t know and the write-up required me to spell the names correctly and make sure I got all of the obits in that day’s newspaper.

It wasn’t until I had to help a tearful woman write her mother’s obituary that the words hit home to me – this write-up wasn’t just an article in the newspaper. This obituary summed up a person’s life, their achievements, their families, their dreams and the sum total of their lives.

Mostly, I was amazed at the accomplishments people earned over a lifetime.

Many were military veterans who honorably and proudly served their country and often met their future spouse while serving.

Some obituaries listed the careers and awards the deceased achieved during their lives. The reporter in me wished I’d have met that person when they were alive so I could’ve talked to them about their accomplishments, from drilling oil wells in the Middle East to those who worked at NASA during the early days of the space program.

The pictures included with obituaries always surprise me. At first, I didn’t understand why people would publish a picture of themselves in their 20s when they passed away late in life. I think it’s how they see themselves when they look in the mirror – not as an 80-year-old living on a fixed income but as a 20-something optimistic person with their whole life in front of them.

My heart always breaks when the obituary is for a young child or a teenager, and I find myself thinking of those families for weeks after reading or typing the obituary. The pain never leaves nor does it ever diminish. We simply learn how to handle the loss.

Then there are the obituaries that make me smile and wish I’d met that person. They’re the people who threw caution to the wind, wore what they wanted, said what they thought and never met a stranger.

None of the obituaries I’ve ever written or read stated that the deceased’s career was the light of their life. They were proud of their accomplishments, but that’s not what brought them joy and fulfillment.

The obituaries that make the most powerful impact on me describe a wonderful grandparent, the adoration their families had for them, the love they had for their pets – who are always named in the obituary – traveling to far-away places and volunteering in the community.

Reading the obituaries changed how I live my life. I understand we’re only here for a short time and, one day, what we did will be printed somewhere.

Make sure that’s what in that write up is you loved and laughed with all your heart and woke every day looking for the wonder that’s around every corner.

This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.