Ho, Ho, Ho. Merry Christmas.

Or so the sentiment goes.

Although I love this time of the year, I procrastinate about Christmas decorating more than any other holiday.

For the Fourth of July, I bake that red, white and blue sprinkle cake two days early. Two weeks before Halloween arrives, I’ve stocked up on candy bars and lollipops.

The Sunday before Thanksgiving, I’ve got the turkey defrosting in the fridge and all the ingredients for pecan pie, sweet potato casserole and cornbread dressing lined up on the counter.

However, Christmas is one holiday where I put off decorating until the very last minute. It’s not that I don’t have reminders all around. Stores put up Christmas decorations right after Labor Day and the ad flyers appear in the newspaper starting in October.

It’s not that I’m a Scrooge. I’m tuning into FM 99.1 on Thanksgiving Day so I can start listening to Christmas songs, my favorite being Nat King Cole crooning about chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

It’s simply that I have a hard time getting excited about taking down 10 boxes from the attic, unpacking them, taking down and putting up decorations and then reversing the process two weeks later.

 

The Guilt

There’s plenty of reminders that I’m dragging my feet. I see families dressed up in holiday sweaters taking pictures for their Christmas cards and I cringe – one year, I sent my Christmas cards out in February.

I look online at friends’ posts on Facebook, and they’re already two weeks into the “Elf on the Shelf” adventure. I’m still trying to figure out how to play that game.

Most of my friends already have red and green Christmas towels in the guest bathrooms along with ceramic Santa soap dispensers. I’ve never seen the practicality of paying almost $10 for a towel I’m going to look at – horrors of horrors if anyone actually wiped their hands on that towel – for less than a month.

Driving around town, I feel guilty as I see house after house with a lighted Christmas tree in the front window. To rub salt in the wound, most of my friends had their tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving.

I rationalize my delay comes from going through so much work for such a short period of time.

When I put drapes up, I expect them to look good for at least 10 years. I keep couches for at least 15 years and once I buy bedroom furniture, it’s in that bedroom for good.  

For Christmas, not only do I move furniture and knick-knacks around and spend all afternoon sweeping up pine needles and wrapping presents, the whole time I’m wondering why I’m doing then because it’s all over in a day and then, two weeks later, I get to do all those chores in reverse.

I’ve tried all the rationalizations – it’s the spirit of the holidays so get over the amount of time it takes to put up the decorations. I’ve even tried boot camp thinking – stop the whining, get down the boxes and create a festive atmosphere for my family.

I’ve tried guilt – what a Scrooge I am for not jumping on the Santa band wagon right after Thanksgiving so I can enjoy Christmas longer.

Nothing works. Besides, my procrastination has paid off.

One year, we got our Christmas tree for half off because I waited so long to get it.

Sigh.

I can see Santa putting coal in my stocking right now.

And I deserve it.
This column was originally published in The Fort Bend Herald.